The strengths of masculinity and femininity

Do you need more femininity in your life or would you prefer a sprinkle of masculinity instead? And what do both these gender traits of these energies bring to the table? Let’s discuss this intricate topic with Joey from Concealed Voices, who’ll

The current gender struggle

Many of us have seen the term ‘toxic masculinity’ on the internet. On the other hand, in many circles, men that are emotional or sweet, which are generally seen as feminine aspects, are seen as weak and stupid. And women who present somewhat more ‘tough’ and direct are immediately painted as lesbians or bitches. Feminists are often painted as extremists and any man defending it is seen as a ‘beta male’. 

However, focusing on these negative traits in both genders forces us all to stay away from ‘the other side’. This is such a shame! Masculinity and femininity both have amazing aspects that we should all embrace. That’s why Joey from Concealed Voices and I teamed up again to talk about the positive aspects both feminine energy and masculine energy can bring when used correctly for all genders.

What does ‘femininity’ mean? And why does everyone need some feminine energy? From a female’s perspective.

When you look up the meaning of the word ‘feminine’ you get two types of words. The first category you’ll find is that feminine means anything to do with females. These are words like ‘girly’, ‘womanhood’ or ‘ladylike’. 

The second category has more to do with traits you can have as a person, female, male or anything in between. These are words like ‘expressive’, ‘compassionate’ and ‘gentle’. Generally, these feminine words describe the emotional or creative sides of people, but also the elegant and the beautiful. 

On top of that and probably the most known side is the side of femininity that describes the nurturing, caring, warm and social side of people. 

Feminine attributes for men

And what is wrong with a man having these qualities? I think that it’s applaudable for a man to be a great, caring dad. That does not and will never make you a ‘simp’. And it’s even a necessity to the mental health of a man to express his emotions! In my book, that’s just what being a grown-up means and it has nothing to do with gender.

The true definition of a man from the viewpoint of a man, Concealed Voices.

What is the true definition of a man? Is it how we conduct ourselves in the presence of women and children, or how we go above and beyond to support and protect our family? Is it determined by our physical strengths and toughness, or how much respect we get from our peers?

Toxic masculinity

Over the years I started seeing the term “Toxic Masculinity” float around but I didn’t think much of it. I knew it was a negative connotation so maybe that’s why I distanced myself from it. I actually thought it was a derogatory term by feminists against men for no reasons other than being born as a man. However, I couldn’t be further from the truth.

Toxic Masculinity is a defined set of attributes, behavior and roles associated with boys and men. In essence, it’s a profile of males who judge anyone as weak if they don’t abide by their image. They have a culture, albeit a dying one, of living with a “men don’t cry” motto. If you show signs of weakness through emotion then you lose your identity of what it means to be a “real man”. I find the whole concept very damaging and divisive. I don’t need any factual evidence to prove this has a detrimental effect on men’s mental health.

Alpha males

Alpha male is another term I read quite often about nowadays. I place it as a sub-category under the toxic masculinity umbrella. It’s men who have power, money and influence which they gained through mostly intimidation. Alpha men tend to prowess a combination of characteristics that propels them up the social hierarchy. 

However, I don’t view their values to be any better than mine or men they perceive to be below them. 

I don’t need to be labelled as any specific type of man – I’m me and that’s enough. You’re not better than me just because of the size of your wallet or how you might have more success in attracting females than I do.

These types of men maintain a fake image due to their insecurities. The fear of being judged by so-called better men. A competitive internal battle that destroys a man’s soul without him ever admitting his struggles because he refuses for help. Insecurities can lead to aggressive behavior such as domestic abuse. It’s dangerous how many men are bottling up their emotions and yet could explode at any moment.

True masculinity

True masculinity is leadership, strength, courage and ambition. All vital attributes that can take any man as far as he wants in life if he chooses to use them wisely. Men who prowess these skills only think about themselves and the people who matter the most to them such as family. 

He focuses on his dreams rather than pleasing others. That man doesn’t care about negativity and isn’t afraid to show signs of frailty. He combines moments of doubt and sadness into positive outcomes through rational decisions and learns from experience.

What now?

Eradicating toxic masculinity probably won’t ever happen, however we can limit the damage it causes to vulnerable boys and men. It starts with the education system. Young boys need to learn that it’s okay to feel differently to others. No question should be left unanswered and we should be encouraged to express our emotions without being labelled as weak.

The second is to confront potential harmful behavior. For example, some guys need to be spoken to regarding their misogynist bullying towards women. We can’t continue to remain silent and let insults slide under the carpet. Intervention is key to any progressive society. 

The third, although not the final as there are many avenues, is being the best role model to yourself. All our actions have consequences, but they can also be used for a greater cause. Be a man who is known in his local community as someone who respects, love and inspires everyone around him. Be an example for young boys to look up to.

Discussion

As you hopefully agree, there are many beautiful sides to masculinity and femininity both and we should try to learn from each other, instead of spreading hate. And, as I’ve always learned, you need to lead by example. This is why Joey and I decided that this post isn’t nearly enough and we needed to discuss further. On Joey’s blog Concealed Voices, you can read our responses to each others parts in this post in two weeks.

But before you go there, I’d like to hear your thoughts about what’s beautiful about femininity and masculinity! What are the sides you love about both? Let me know in the comments below. Anyways, I hope you liked this post. If you want more content like this, please subscribe and get my free e-book to help you save money. You can also find me on Instagram, Pinterest and Twitter, so you’ll never have to miss a new post.

Lots of love,

Lisa

Pin it!